A Holiday Gift From My Health Insurer
Christmas came early this year when I opened my health insurance policy details for 2015. Aetna increased the premium by 40% and tore holes in the plan’s coverage big enough to drive an ambulance...
View ArticleIt Takes Crystal Balls to Predict 2015
It’s time to get the old crystal ball out of the closet to find out what lies in store for us in the New Year. My predictions for 2014 were way off base, mainly because I read the runes after a few...
View ArticleGreece Up For Sale
The European Central Bank has foreclosed on Greece. The country’s residents have been given 48 hours to vacate the property. According to the bank, Greece has failed to meet its loan payments...
View ArticleWant to be a Genius? Get an Ailment
What does it take to be the next Ludwig van Beethoven? An ability to string musical notes together definitely helps, as does playing an instrument and an eccentric personality. Wild hair is good too;...
View ArticleWho Will Win the Best Film Snub Oscar?
Critics are raving over the movies that have been nominated for the Best Film Snub in this year’s Academy Awards. “Over the years the judges have ignored some brilliant films, directors and actors, but...
View ArticleFathering’s Funny Bone
The advice fathers give to their sons comes in many forms, from clipped, world-weary truisms, to hand-on-shoulder parables. Lessons can be serious and masculine, and they can be laced with the humor of...
View ArticleNorth Koreans Push Doomsday Insult Clock Closer to Midnight
Name calling experts at the Pentagon are warning that North Korea’s continued verbal attacks on the US could escalate into a global conflict that hurts feelings all over the planet. The North Korean’s...
View ArticleExtinct Mammal Spotted in Connecticut
A Middle Class American was sighted in Connecticut this week, more than two years after the species was declared extinct in the state. Sociologists are hailing the find as a major discovery. The male...
View ArticleInvestigators Reveal Shocking Cause of Bank Collapse
A seven-year investigation into the dramatic collapse of the Chase The Money Bank has reached a final conclusion. The Wall Street bank toppled on Friday 13th, 2008, flinging debris over several blocks...
View ArticleDrachma Drama: Greece Decides to Exit Europe
Greece plans to leave the Eurozone as soon as possible. The shock decision was announced today by the Greek government, which has become increasingly bitter over the austerity measures imposed by...
View ArticleFox Exposes Holes Hoax
An emergency crew rushed to the headquarters of Fox News earlier today, where a parcel full of facts was found in the news room. The facts were destroyed and no one was hurt. The news channel has...
View ArticleGenghis Khan Heir Suing US Congress for Defamation of Character
A New York City taxi driver who is descended from the Mongolian emperor Genghis Khan is suing the US Congress for defaming the character of his infamous ancestor. Ali Wilfred Starbucks Khan, a resident...
View ArticleStampgate the Next Scandal to Rock the Nation?
A major row has broken out on Capitol Hill over who should pay for the stamps on thousands of letters that Republican senators are sending out to world leaders. The mail campaign was inspired by a...
View ArticleMiracle Feed Fattens Animals in Record Time
Stung by shocking expose films made by animal rights groups and rising concern over the excessive use of growth hormones in animal feed, the meat industry has announced a revolutionary new method for...
View ArticleAsses Behind LGBT Boycott in Indiana?
The Ladies Golf and Bridge Tournament (LGBT) is seeking a new home after being blackballed by the town of Mental Narrows, Indiana. The trouble began when one of the tournament’s competitors suffered an...
View ArticleAmericans Head to Mars as Presidential Race Ramps Up
A planned mission to the planet Mars is receiving floods of applications from Americans who want to sign up for a one-way trip to the Red Planet. “We expected the numbers to rise once the election...
View ArticleRighteous Pope Gives US Sisters His Blessing
Nuns in America are celebrating the news that Pope Francis has halted the Vatican’s crackdown on what it regarded as “radical feminist” groups of nuns in the US who had created a “doctrinal crisis” in...
View ArticleUproar Over Standardized Testing for School Buses
Parents across the country are protesting at the introduction of new standardized tests for school buses, and many are threatening to opt out of bus transportation until the program is scrapped. The...
View ArticleNeedlegate Shocks World Knitting
Hot on the heels of the “Deflategate” scandal at the New England Patriots in the NFL, competitive knitting has been rocked by the revelation that the world champions, The Woolly Mammoths, might have...
View ArticleAre You a Worrywart? This Cruise is for You!
If you are a pessimist who is still searching for the ideal summer vacation, look no further. Real Life Cruises has announced the launch of its Pessimists Cruise, designed especially for people who...
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